Holding Space: Three Ways to Support Domestic Violence Survivors
The act of holding space for others can be profoundly healing in a chaotic and isolating world. Holding space means being physically, mentally, and emotionally present. This allows others to express themselves without fear of judgment. This act of care can be life-changing for survivors of domestic violence. It is rooted in compassion and understanding, offering a powerful antidote to invisibility and isolation. During Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), here are three ways to hold space for survivors.
1. Listen Without Judgment
During the sharing of a survivor’s story, it is essential to create a safe environment where they feel valued and heard. Listening attentively is one of the most powerful ways to hold space. Listen to their words and emotions instead of interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. By listening without judgment, survivors can feel understood and less alone in their struggles. Here are some ways to be attentive without judgment:
- Reflect on what you hear to show you’re engaged
- Ask open-ended questions
- Validate the other person’s experience
- Be present when victims of violence or sexual assault are ready to open up
2. Validate Their Feelings
As a result of domestic violence, survivors may experience shame, confusion, and fear. It is vital to validate the survivor’s feelings without diminishing them. It is okay to acknowledge and validate the survivor’s feelings while at the same time letting them know they have made or are about to make the right decision for them. Often, all they need is a listening and trusting friend.
Using phrases like “It’s okay to feel this way” or “What you’re feeling is completely understandable” affirms survivors’ feelings. By validating their feelings, you reinforce that their experiences are real and deserving of attention and care.
3. Respect Their Boundaries
Providing space means respecting survivors’ boundaries. Trauma is a complex thing, and not everyone is ready to talk about it. Let them lead the conversation and be sensitive to their needs. Respect their boundaries if they prefer silence or need time to gather their thoughts. By respecting their boundaries, you show them that you value their comfort and autonomy, fostering a sense of security.
Help is available.
Survivors have unique journeys to safety, so there is no right way to hold space or support them. In case you have concerns, our advocates are available by phone, chat, or text 24 hours a day. In addition to helping you identify the stage of change the survivor is in, they can connect you with resources that can assist at the moment. Together, we can build a world free of violence in all relationships.
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